Behind the Cubicle
Mired in the world of office politics, our cubicle cohort zings some of these at management and other employees. Feel free to use and modify these for your own use

Out of Sight,
Out of Mind…
Management is always the wrong one.

Some businesses are built on the law of supply and demand.
Others don’t bother with the "supp".

In honor of Passover, my boss decided to do exactly that to my promotion.

My boss is a self-made man
(there’s no one else to blame.)

Our workforce is very stable. At least it smells like one.

It's officially hunting season.
And suddenly, everyone uses the title "My DEAR boss..."

My boss's birthstone is lava.

My boss had a heart-bypass years ago.
It wasn't an operation, he just completely bypassed his heart.

The boss can tell that I'm no longer listening.
Any time I'm asked a question, I answer "Yes, dear."

Management happens.

Oh-oh…I just found out our medical plan doesn’t cover back-stabbing.

They say whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. Right now I’d like to straighten management.

Working here takes my breath away
(Because they keep me in a vacuum)

I’m actually highly paid for this job. Most babysitters only get $5 an hour!

When told we "…have a good benefit package," I didn’t realize they added the letter "L" in the word "have."

Money is no object
Found in my paycheck

The more things change, the more things stay the same.
For instance, my workload compared to my salary.

I’m not worried about getting lost in the next corporate shuffle.
They’re not playing with a full deck anyway.

The company used to emphasize "FOCUS."
Now I believe that they had some of the vowels mixed up.

College is so different from the real world.
Back then I paid to have credits on many subjects. Now I am paid to take the blame from one ruler.

Our benefits package doesn’t even include benefit of the doubt.

When the chips are down, it’s nice to know that so are salaries and morale.

If at first you don’t succeed…you’ve got a great career ahead of you in management!

My boss had a real moment of truth the other day. Unfortunately, that’s as long it lasted.

My boss must be the spitting image of someone. Everytime I see his image, I want to spit.

The problem with being on the bottom of the ladder is that when you look up above you, all you see are asses.

Sometimes, all these "mouth-watering opportunities" make me want to spit.

The company car is not the only thing that needs to be re-tired around here…