Not playing with a full deck ...and other clues
that someone isn't quite all there in these popular phrases.

• Having a party in his head, but no one else is invited.
• Antenna doesn't pick up all the channels.
• Slept too close to his radium-dial watch.
• Missing a few buttons on his remote control.
• Four cents short of a nickel.
• A few links shy of a chain.
• If she were any dumber, she'd be a green plant.
• Elevator doesn't go all the way to the top floor.
• Looking for the corner of a circular room.
• Sitting in the right pew, but the wrong church.
• A brain like a BB rolling down a highway
• Intellectually challenged.
• A couple of togas short of an orgy.
• Born during low tide in the gene pool.
• Some drink from the fountain of knowledge, but he just gargled.
• Welcome light on, but no one home.
• A few feet short of the runway.
• A hamburger short of a Happy Meal.
• Goalie for the dart team.
• In the shopping mall of the mind, he's in the toy department.
• Forgot to pay his brain bill.
• A few rungs short of a ladder
• Mentally qualified for handicapped parking.
• If there were a merciful God he'd be dead by now.
• Missing a layer of insulation in his attic.
• A few beers short of a six-pack.
• Not done evolving yet.
• One sock short of a pair.
• Porch light is on, but there's nobody home
• Vacancy on the top floor
• Not the brightest light on the Christmas tree.
• Inspired the slogan, "A mind is a terrible thing to waste."
• One tree short of a hammock.
• Overdue for reincarnation.
• A few peas short of a pod
• Paralyzed from the neck up.
• Plays solitaire... for cash.
• So stupid, mind readers charge her half price.
• Proof God has a sense of humor.
• Signs on both ears saying 'Space for Rent.'
• Puzzle is missing a few pieces.
• Diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
• Result of a first cousin marriage.
• A few bits short of a byte
• Should have kept his helmet on while riding
• If stupidity were a crime, he'd be #1 on the Most Wanted list.
• So boring, his dreams have Muzak.
• Someone blew out his pilot light.
• On permanent leave of absence from his senses.
• A few eggs short of a dozen.
• A pickle short of a barrel.
• If his IQ were 2 points higher he would be a rock.
• During evolution his ancestors were in the control group.
• Useful as a kick stand on a horse
• A couple of bricks short of a load.
• Uses two hands to eat with chopsticks.
• Been short on oxygen one time too many.
• Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming.
• Doesn't have his belt through all the loops
• Found his marbles, but is playing jacks with them.
• Working with an unformatted disk.
• Takes her 1.5 hours to watch "60 Minutes".
• Nice house, but nobody home.
• Got into the gene pool while the lifeguard wasn't watching.